The bills are piling up and the fridge is nearly bare. My computer is currently down, and all our old computers have some kind of issue that makes them unusable. The one I’ve borrowed from my husband is doing strange things and driving me batty. Adjusting to being a one-income family has certainly been rocky…not that things were exactly smooth sailing before. Working on my craft is a challenge with all the stress, not to mention the fact that I have a three year old daughter who feels the need to constantly climb all over me. Sometimes I wonder if I’ve made the right decision. With each new obstacle I encounter, it seems that the world is set on telling me to give up.
Perhaps that would be the smart move. To pack it in and find a job, any job, and stick it out until I can retire, no matter how much I hate said job. To hang up my dreams and ignore the things that make me feel alive, on the slight chance that someday I can buy my freedom and return to my beloved hobbies. To join the ranks of bitter souls spouting such pearls of wisdom as “sometimes life prevails” and “it’s just for now”. People who know that “just for now” is a cop-out and almost always ensures a life of mediocrity. A nightmare from which you awaken just a little too late, only to realize you did nothing with your life. Sure, that would be the safe bet. But I’ve never been interested in playing it safe.
Instead, I choose to stand tall and have faith in my dreams. I choose to rise to the challenge and find a way to make it work. I choose to make the most of the life I have, because time is not guaranteed. I refuse to believe that we are meant to suffer, and yet I am willing to endure a great amount of sacrifice now to enjoy the rewards later.
If I’ve learned anything, it’s that perception is everything. A tighter budget may be a hassle, but it’s taught me to value what we have and to be more creative in utilizing our funds. It’s driven home the difference between wants and needs. It’s forced me to be inventive with my problem solving, with my cooking skills, and in repairing or re-purposing items that have been damaged. It’s also given me the burning desire to get down to business and make my dreams a reality.
And so, I find myself at the computer, cursing as I type each “r” and get “r97”, each “f” that inexplicably adds 5 extra letters to the first paragraph. I could decide that the extra time it takes to delete these unwanted additions to my composition isn’t worth the hassle and go scrub my kitchen sink (god knows it needs it), but that would require me to admit defeat. Instead, I’ll plow ahead. I’ll do my best to avoid those letters when I can and complete this post. Once I’m sure my message has been sufficiently imparted, I’ll go clean that sink.
I am not a quitter. I will rise above…and so will you, if you hold on tight and learn to enjoy the ride.